i don’t care if you think it’s “improper first date attire” this suit of armor is enchanted and i’m wearing it
1986 LTS Toy Camera
let me just say:
it is creepy and irresponsible to ask other people to monitor your behavior for appropriateness, and announcing that you’re open to being told to back off doesn’t necessarily make people feel comfortable doing it
some people who are neuro-atypical may ask for extra help knowing when they’re making other people uncomfortable, and that’s okay. it’s not really acceptable to universally malign people who behave inappropriately.
the difference is:
it’s a conversation that’s had in advance, not a broad excuse to brush off any complaints and concerns.
most neuro-atypical people in this situation already do more self-monitoring than neuro-typical people. asking others to watch out for them is done in addition rather than instead of self-monitoring.
a large majority of neuro-atypical people have been made to feel uncomfortable and not felt the ability to speak up in some very serious situations. but the same people may be trying their hardest not to hurt others by sincerely asking their friends to let them know if something they do is inappropriate.
it’s true that many people rely on call-outs, so if no one directly tells them to stop doing something, they won’t examine their own behavior or check how it’s making others feel. and that’s really gross. but before making broad statements about social behavior, remember that not everyone is coming in to a social situation with the same context, assumptions, and tools.